A Funk.

I have been in a serious funk this week. My week didn't start out the best when I had to stand up to a coworker about some stuff. I hate confrontation. Since then, I've just felt blah. So it was good to go to my Wednesday night Bible study last night and get some perspective on stuff. It doesn't mean it put me in a better mood (just ask one of my friends!) but it did make me think about some stuff. My thoughts came back to this poem that I was given a couple of years ago and I hope that you enjoy it, too. Happy Thursday, everyone.

The Will of God

The will of God will never take you,
Where the grace of God cannot keep you,
Where the arms of God cannot support you,
Where the riches of God cannot supply your needs,
Where the power of God cannot endow you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the Spirit of God cannot work through you,
Where the wisdom of God cannot teach you,
Where the army of God cannot protect you,
Where the hands of God cannot mold you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the love of God cannot enfold you,
Where the mercies of God cannot sustain you,
Where the peace of God cannot calm your fears,
Where the authority of God cannot overrule for you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the comfort of God cannot dry your tears,
Where the Word of God cannot feed you,
Where the miracles of God cannot be done for you,
Where the omnipresence of God cannot find you.

“Everything happens for a purpose. We may not see the wisdom of it all now,
but trust and believe in the Lord that everything is for the best.”

Obsession

Sometimes I just lose the focus. I get so wrapped up in life that I forget about the important things. For instance, I spent the other morning dedicated to figuring out my schooling schedule so that I could see how long it would take me to get my bachelor's degree (four years, if all goes well!). Since that time I have been obsessing over which class to take and when and where, etc., etc., etc. Who cares!

Then, my three day weekend was spent sorting and cleaning. Obsessively. I still managed to get to five barbecues (Yikes. Weight Watchers weigh-in might be a little rough this week!) but my entire weekend's thinking revolved around what I wanted to still do at home. Except for the four soccer games that I went to and then I was too full of anxiety for them to win that I wasn't thinking about anything except, "Make that goal!!" :)

My point, though? What does it matter! I realize the importance of responsibility and of preparation/planning for some things, but when it takes over and consumes you, I don't know if that's so healthy.

This all leads to my question of the week. I tend to think about death a lot. Not in the suicidal manner -- good grief, I cry when I get a paper cut! -- but in the manner of realizing that none of us can avoid it so why not do what you can now to feel OKAY with it and at peace with it. So when I have weeks like these last few where I obsess and plan and control, I completely lose sight of the important things...the daily things that keep me at peace with the big picture.

Anyway, back to my question. I have a couple of friends that feel that I tend to think about death a bit too much. They have said that it's not normal. I also have other friends who say that, yeah, they think about it a lot, too, and that it is normal. What do you think? Is it normal to think of the brevity of life or is it odd to think about it so much?

Let me know your thoughts! I'm curious as to whether I'm an oddball or not! :)

PS -- I hope this isn't too depressing of a post! I'm not in a "down" mood at all and I certainly don't want to come across that way!! :o)

Grammar Freak.

Grammatical errors drive me bonkers. I realize that I don't have perfect grammar, but I do believe that I notice more errors than the average individual and I always have to suppress myself from correcting people/things. It's always been easy for me to understand and figure out grammar and so I've always enjoyed it! However, I've recently been mulling over the correct way to say a certain phrase and I need your input! Tell me which phrase you think is correct:

1) I couldn't care less about Johnny's broken shoelace.

2) I could care less about Johnny's broken shoelace.

I have always used version number two because it sounds better. I am beginning to notice, though, that most everyone uses version number one. So...what better place to ask than on my blog!! What do you think? Which is correct?

(This would be the point where any English majors could step up and show their skills. Ahem...BA Turtle. :o)

Oooooo...

I always love things like these. I actually find them quite interesting! Have fun! :)

Your Power Bird is an Eagle

You are spiritual and able to soar to great heights. You are a true inspiration, and many people look to you for guidance. And you are quite demanding in relationships... but you're worth it.People know that you will become even greater than you imagine.

What's" Your Power Bird?

And so it goes...

Well, life goes on. It took several days for my news to sink in, but when it did, it was wonderful. However, there are many more people who battle this demon, so let's not forget them in our prayers.

I've decided to keep this blog going for a while. I'm not sure if it's indefinite or what, but it's kind of nice to write and just get stuff out there. I promise not to reveal my deep, dark secrets, though, so no worries! :) It is a good way for my family & friends from far & near to keep up with what's going on with me. However, I'm sure it's going to be quite boring compared to all of my friends who have kid stories & pics to share! :)

Right now, really, there's not much going on. This past week was just getting back into the groove with work. I overdid things a bit, though, and didn't get as much sleep as I should have, so that led to a couple of rough days toward the end of the week. However, I was able to catch up last night and today I can just relax. Nice!

I've decided to celebrate my cancer free status by doing something that I've wanted to do for a few years now. This. Pretty sweet, huh? I haven't decided yet if this is the company I'm going to go through or what I'm going to do, but it's my plan of celebration! :) Anyone want to come with me?

So, this last week I also started looking at online degree programs to see about finishing up my bachelor's degree. Needless to say, my hopes were seriously dashed. Why do they have to make it so difficult! It's that or so expensive!! So, I'm debating what to do and have decided to review the materials again. I might just keep plugging along with what I'm doing.

Anyway, enough for now. Please go out and enjoy the lovely weekend! It's about 74 degrees here and gorgeous!! I'm loving it!! :o)

Thanks, Dad!!!

Well, my dad had his own special way of helping me to celebrate! Until I can hunt down a digital camera, a similar online picture will have to do. However, mine has other yellow flowers along

with the daisies and it's in a basket. The card? Yeah. It reads,

"You beat the devil!!"

Yes, we did. Love you, Dad. Lots and lots.

My NEW Classification: Cancer free!!

It's official! The radiation oncologist cleared me this afternoon saying that my bloodwork was normal and nothing was showing on the pictures so ... I am officially cancer free!!! Woo-hoo!!!

I am back on my medication already and life has begun the process of resuming to "normal". There is no thought yet of when my next round of testing will be (a year from now versus two years from now) but I probably won't know more about that until the beginning of 2008.

And that is all for today, folks!! I'm just thrilled with the report!! John & Esther (friends of mine who have so graciously let me stay in their home during my testing time) and I are going to go out and celebrate with root beer floats here in a little bit. Anyone want to join us? Give us a call! We'll tell you where to meet us!! ;o)

Have a wonderful Thursday afternoon!!

Whoop!!

For the first time in four years, my bloodwork is NORMAL!!! Whoop!! :o) This is a great thing!

The doctors measure something in your blood called thyroglobulin. I forget the particulars of what it is and why it's so important to monitor when you have cancer, but it's important and I know that it has to be low. For four years it has ranged from 4 to 7 and that is not considered low.

At my appointment last week with my specialist, she mentioned that she wanted the thyroglobulin level to be at 1.5 or lower. This morning, I found out that my level was 0.2!!!!!!

I'm still floating with the news! However, I still have to follow through with the body scans. I'm not that concerned about those, because they've been good the last couple of years with spots that they speculate could have been something, but they were never sure. It was just the bloodwork that was abnormal. So I'll follow through and finish up the seond part of this testing business and then I'm about 99% sure that life will resume to "normal" on Friday (aka, medicated, no special diet, no more lab work needed, etc.) for at least a year. I'll find out about that on Thursday.

So, you all have a wonderful Monday!! I know that I already am!! :o)

Ladies & Gentlemen. It's time.

Yes, it's true. The doctor said to go ahead and do the body scan tests next week. So, that hallelujah you heard earlier this afternoon...it was me!!! :o)

This is great news, people! :) It means one LESS week on this low iodine diet and one LESS week off of my thyroid medication and one LESS week of dealing with the anxiety about what's going to happen!!! Yip, yip, yippee!! :o)

I am just ecstatic about it all. I can hardly believe that the doctor agreed to do it next week, but she did! And I'll go with that!!! :)

So, the plan is to go in on Monday at 9 AM and take a small radioactive iodine pill. This is what the diet has prepped me for. Hopefully any cancer cells will pick up the iodine from the pill first and then the rest will disperse through the body. But that's all that's on the agenda for Monday.

Then on Tuesday at 1:30 PM I will go and have a body scan. Same thing for Wednesday. Same thing for Thursday. Then I will meet with the radiation oncologist at 2:45 on Thursday afternoon and we will discuss the results of the scan and of the bloodwork. I will know more that day of what will happen, but hopefully I will be told that all is well and I will get to go back on my meds that day!! YESSSS!!!!!

And that is that. I am exhausted from today so I'm going to eat a quick bite of supper and head to bed. Thanks for sharing in my joy, though! Really. I do appreciate all of you!! :o)

Great googly-moogly.

Okay, folks. I told you I'd report to you what my thyroid level is at and I know you've been anxiously awaiting the news!!! *heehee* Well, you might not have been, but I was.

I'm at 45.10. That's right. Fourty-five. Remember, I only have to be at 30 to be ready for the tests!?! My "normal" level is 0.33. Yeah. It's high. BUT...there's a small glitch.

The second half of "being ready for the tests" is that I have to be on this low-iodine diet for two weeks. I've only been on it for...half a week. Ugh.

My thyroid levels have never jumped this quickly in the past. Usually the thyroid level jumps this third week of being off of medication, but it's always been below 30. It's the fourth week that we get labs back and I'm in the 80s or 90s or something absurd like that. Anna B can correct me if I'm wrong because she probably remembers more clearly than I do! :o)

The other thing that stinks...I've always started this low-iodine diet a week early but then I found out it wasn't necessary, so this year, I didn't do that. The case this year -- it would have helped. Ugh.

But there you have it. I meet with the doctor tomorrow afternoon at 2:30 and I'll report her "command" after that. She's a perfectionist, so I'd be shocked if she said I could do my tests next week already. Of course, if you hear a "Hallelujah!" floating through the air tomorrow afternoon, smile, because it will be ME hollering because she said to go ahead with the tests next week! :o)

All for now. Take care! Happy Wednesday!