A week of reminiscing

This past week I received two envelopes in the mail containing my medical files from my surgeon who performed my thyroidectomy (when I had thyroid cancer).  During that cancer time, I learned that it's very important to keep a copy of your medical records and even more so with situations that are as critical as this one.  It's just always good to go to your doctor appointment(s) prepared with your OWN copy of your file.

For some reason, though, I never got a copy of my file from my surgeon!  So, this year, I finally got my act together and requested a copy of my file.  It showed up in the mail last week and I finally opened it yesterday.  You know, I never cease to be amazed by the flood of emotions and flashbacks that occur when I spend time reading through my medical files from the years that I was fighting thyroid cancer.  Honestly, this long out (seven years now since first diagnosed), you'd think that "reviewing" that time period wouldn't cause that much emotion, but I'll be the first to admit that it sure DOES stir up a lot of emotion!  It makes me wonder...does a person ever really "heal" from something like that?  Maybe that's something that no one can answer until they've been through such an experience (and I hope that it's an experience that YOU never have to go through!!!), but it just seems like I should be reacting to it like I would with any surgery.  For instance, if I had my gall bladder taken out or something, I'd probably share the story with ease and remember it without much emotion.  Why, though, does a cancer story do just the opposite and stir up a lot of emotion?  Is it because in your first days and weeks of discovery, it's kind of like a "brush with death"?  I just really don't know.

Anyway, it's good for me to read through those files and remember what I was experiencing and to review what the doctor's were saying about me at that time.  It's just good to know of the details of the events that were taking place.

In addition to all that, my mom and I also got into a conversation this week about those first days/weeks of finding out I had cancer and for the first time (that I can remember, anyway), I heard from mom some more details about what she and dad were really going through during that time.  I know it may seem silly to even say it, but I honestly didn't realize what THEY were experiencing then (outside of fear) and I'm sure it's because I was pretty focused on myself those days.

It's just been a good week of reminiscing and a good week to just remember how thankful I need to be.  Cancer is something that changes everything about you and about your life and you're never the same person again, even in the littlest things.  It's also something that you're never prepared for, either, no matter how many times you face it (and that was something that I learned during the time that I went to support groups for a little extra help).

Anyway, this is nothing super revealing or exciting, but it's something I've been glad to experience this week and it was just a little something that I wanted to share with all of you. : )  All for now, friends!!